Man of Steel Review
There are times when you come across a film that is completely overt. The themes are stated in an obvious manner (Sometimes repeatedly. Thanks, Chris Nolan! I wasn’t aware that the world wasn’t ready for Clark. I also didn’t know he had great things ahead of him. Thank you for drilling it into my head repeatedly.)
(Yes, I’m aware Zak Snyder directed the movie. But, come on. Repeated theme exposition is all Nolan.)
The plot is basic. Your standard Superman origin interspersed with some odd editing with regards to flashbacks and an Alien Invasion.
None of these things, however, stop the film from being completely Awesome. That is awesome in both senses of the word. The classical sense, as in something that inspires awe, and in the Bill and Ted sense, as in “Whoa, dude. That was awesome!”
For starters, the opening 30 or so minutes on Krypton was essentially the best Sci-Fi film in years. Krypton is brought to life in captivating fashion, absolutely teeming with imagination. The film’s flashbacks, though oddly edited in, serve to humanize Superman in a way that we haven’t seen since Lois and Clark in the mid 90s.
Henry Cavill is suitably charismatic and oddly broody as Superman. His appearance also wasn’t a particular deterrent to to female moviegoers I saw this film with. He could have perhaps shown a tiny bit more of the whimsy we see from him towards the end of the movie, since it would have served to round out his personality a bit better, but maybe we’ll see a bit more of that in the sequel.
Amy Adams is perfectly serviceable as Lois Lane. Given her recent acting pedigree, I expected slightly better from her, but she isn’t given too much to work with. Her give a ****ometer is far higher than… ohhh… for example… Natalie Portman in the Star Wars prequels and Thor.
Michael Shannon hams it up suitably as General Zod. That is exactly what he should do as General Zod. This is a guy that spent an entire movie in the old series yelling at everyone and their third cousin to kneel.
The supporting cast, for the most part, runs range from good to very good, with Diane Lane as Martha Kent and Russell Crowe as Jor-El being standouts.
The real star of this movie, though, is the action. The invasion, the fights, the battles. Everything is absolutely phenomenal, on par with Avengers if not surpassing it’s grandiose alien battle.
If you’re looking for an action flick, the best one so far this year is Man of Steel. Go see it.
Man of Steel Drinking Game
-Someone says the world isn’t ready for Clark, or talk about his destiny/potential for greatness.
-Clark broods about his destiny/potential for greatness.
-Lois is feisty.
-Every time the movie makes it obvious Clark is JESUS.
-Krypton is mentioned.
-A flashback occurs or ends.
-A building of any kind is damaged or destroyed.
-You see a Lexcorp logo.
G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra Drinking Game
-There’s a flashback sequence.
-Channing Tatum is wooden.
-Marlon Wayans has a stupid one-liner. Chug if it makes you want to murder him.
-A character’s code name is used.
-The accelerator suits are used
-There’s an explosion
-A gun is fired
-Chug whenever the plot pulls a ridiculous coincidence out of left field (Baroness is Duke’s ex girlfriend!)
-Chug whenever the movie rapes your childhood. This is open to interpretation.
Oz the Great and Powerful Drinking Game
-Oscar has a shit-eating grin on his face
-James Franco chews scenery.
-Anyone chews scenery.
-Theodora is naive or slightly stalky.
-Evanora is manipulative.
-Oscar isn’t the wizard they expect. Chug, however, if he’s the wizard they need right now… The wizard they deserve… the Dark… Sorry, that got away from me.
-Oscar is manipulative or dishonest.
-Oscar gets someone’s name wrong.
-Obvious CGI is obvious.
-Anyone takes off or puts on a hat.
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Crank Drinking Game
Crank Drinking Game
-Someone is shown using a Cell Phone (one for each person)
-A heart is shown beating
-There is nudity or sex
-Someone is shot
-Chev is about to die
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Picking Up Girls on Valentine’s Day
Hey all! long time no see!
As we all know, Valentine’s Day is a Time for lovers… But wait… Are you Single? Oh no!
Those of you in the know are likely aware of something very special about V-Day already, so let’s let all our other brothers in on the fun.
Valentine’s Day is a tremendous time to pick up. Single women have a tendency to feel melancholy at the fact that they are currently without someone to spend this ridiculous over-commercialized Holiday with. So rather than having to be “Romantic” with your girlfriend or whatever the Hell it is people do on Valentine’s Day, use the holiday to your advantage and go home with some ladies.
And now, as a bonus, here are some great Valentine’s-Specific tips.
-Wish girls a Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, Happy St. Patty’s Day, Chair Day, whatever.
-Ask if they got your card… Or why you haven’t received their card yet. Feel free to be as mock insulted as humanly possible. You can pretty much go as far as you want with this, lamenting the fact that she hasn’t sent you Flowers or Candy either. What gives, woman?
-Make sure you don’t directly answer any questions like “Why don’t you have a girlfriend”, or “why aren’t you on a date”. These are shit tests and are not worthy of regular responses . Exaggerate. Be ridiculous. Roll your eyes. Call her on her silly question.
-Send out a mass text to girls already in your Phone. Something like “[Your Name] wishes you Happy Flowers and Candy Day.” Once you get some responses, talk to the girls and see if they’re doing anything tonight. Do not make this at all about V-Day. Just offer a simple drink at a bar to hang out. There’s a pretty decent chance she doesn’t want to go home alone tonight.
-Mock the holiday. Talk about how there’s Red and Hearts everywhere, and how that’s terrifying. Talk about how all of society is about to gain a bunch of weight from the chocolate they’ll eat tonight. Talk about how people buying in are suckers.
-If she asks what you do for a living, say “Shhhh… don’t tell anyone, but I’m actually Cupid.
Good luck out there gentlemen. We’re all counting on you.
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